


Betwixt Red Eyes

by Wallynbynw



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, FHQ inspired, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prophetic Dreams, Ushijima is a rival but not an antagonist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallynbynw/pseuds/Wallynbynw
Summary: Sometimes, just sometimes, Iwaizumi Hajime cursed having magic. He cursed the prophetic nightmares he was divined with, he cursed how much it hurt to lose a Quidditch match, he cursed how perceptive Hanamaki and Matsukawa could get.But what he cursed most of all was the residual fear leftover from his nightmare plagued nights, cursed how even the slightest flash of the color would fill him with anxiety, fill him with dread and worry of things to come. And worst of all,He cursed how he had started seeing that red reflected in Oikawa's eyes.Something was going on, and he was pretty sure it involved his nightmares and Oikawa. If only he could figure outwhat.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my drafts for so long, I've basically been on and off working on it for since December 2015 lol, back when there were almost no HP AUs in the fandom orz
> 
> But now there's a ton of AUs and I'm excited to be among them! So I hope you enjoy!!

Sometimes, just sometimes, Iwaizumi Hajime cursed having magic. He never had these types of problems when he was younger and ignorant of his powers. But then again, these kinds of things might've just come with age.

A shudder ran through his sweat-covered body, his breath heaving from him as if he were hit by a binding curse, as if he was still sprinting through the field towards the retreating figure. His knuckles were white, clenching at his wool blanket, and it wasn't until he heard a quiet, inquisitive voice that reality set in.

"Iwa-chan?"

Tension eased from his shoulders, just a bit, as Iwaizumi caught his breath and unfurled his fingers, and turned to peer at Oikawa's bed. His best friend was sitting on his own bed with a blanket pulled over his head, and a book sitting in his lap. The light from the flashlight sitting behind his ear was dim, and big rimmed glasses were perched on Oikawa's nose. He looked concerned, and was already tossing everything aside to get up. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Iwaizumi tried to reassure, but he still felt ragged. He knew Oikawa saw it too, and the bed dipped and there were hands on his arms, ghosting over his forearms before settling down on his wrists.

"Iwa-chan, was it another nightmare?"

Iwaizumi just nodded, and Oikawa shifted. His hands moved to Iwaizumi's shoulders, kneeding the skin softly. "The same one as always," he grimaced. He'd been having the same dream since since his third year at Hogwarts. Of him sprinting, terrified, through a field. Of spells and curses being hurled his way. Of piercing, evil red eyes.

Takeda, the astrology professor, had told Iwaizumi that he had a talent for divining, reading the future, and fortune telling. At the time, Iwaizumi had thought nothing of it, chalked it up to just being something Oikawa found amusing (not as amusing as Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who joked about turning him into a cheap attraction for non-magical amusement parks. Oikawa thought it was legitimately amusing, and used to often bother Iwaizumi for divinations).

Now he thought his divinity a nuisance, as Oikawa considered him with worried eyes, pushing Iwaizumi as a wordless demand to scoot over. It had become a routine in the last few years. Iwaizumi would have a nightmare, and Oikawa,

"What, Iwa-chan, can't sleep without the great Oikawa by your side?"

Oikawa would be there to make sure he was alright.

"I am going to push you off the bed," Iwaizumi threatened, but he moved over anyways and lifted the blankets.

Oikawa simply grinned at him, and quickly settled down until he was snuggled right up to Iwaizumi. The first few times they tried it, they had slept side by side, shoulders touching, but the bed had been more accommodating when they were younger and smaller. Now, there were very few boundaries left, as Oikawa wound his arm around Iwaizumi's waist, and nestled his nose into the pillows so their faces were inches apart. A yawn escaped him. 

"Are you feeling better?"

Iwaizumi looked up, and even in the moonlight, Oikawa's eyes were sparkling and warm. Their soft brown were calming, a color Iwaizumi had grown to appreciate, as they drowned out the haunting shade of red that fueled his nightmares. He smiled softly and bumped foreheads with his best friend.

"Yeah."

A hum came from Oikawa and Iwaizumi closed his eyes. His bed was warm with the addition of another body, but it was a comforting, encompassing warmth, and just as Iwaizumi drifted off to sleep, he found himself muttering a quiet thank you.

-

He wished often that he could remember more of the nightmare. 

At first, Oikawa seemed suspicious that the reoccurring nightmare was an omen. "Iwa-chan, the scary man in your dreams is out to get you," he'd tease whenever something would go wrong, like when a dragon hatchling almost nipped one of his fingers off. Or when he turned one of his potions into acid and burnt through the school desk. 

"That would only make sense if I had those dreams the day these things happen," he'd bite back. But Oikawa would ignore him and go on joking about Iwaizumi's dreams haunting him.

But on mornings where Iwaizumi would wake up with Oikawa nestled beside him, hogging the blankets and drooling all over his pillows, Iwaizumi would also notice a sense of wariness to Oikawa. "You're imagining things," he told Iwaizumi with a wink and a grin, after tucking a four leaf clover into his robes for good luck on their Transfiguration exam. "Really Iwa-chan," he had insisted when Iwaizumi found a rabbit's foot in his bookbag. "You probably just have an admirer," he said cheekily when Iwaizumi found an _omamori_ amulet tied around his wand one morning.

"You're ridiculous," Iwaizumi said as he caught him trying to fasten a horseshoe above his bedpost. 

Caught off guard, Oikawa sputtered and flailed about for a moment, before regaining his composure and turning his nose up haughtily at his friend. "I'm just worried about your well being. You should feel honored."

"Uh-huh." He pushed past Oikawa, dropping his bag on the floor and collapsing into the pillows. One of these days he'll get decent sleep, he decided as he kicked off his shoes. When he's not having nightmares or working on homework or letting Oikawa keep him up all hours of the night.

There was a dip in the bed and he felt a weight as Oikawa leaned back on him. "This isn't the time for sarcasm, Iwa-chan!" he retorted, before prattled on with a high voice about... something. Iwaizumi tuned him out, feeling a slight pang of jealousy at his energy. They'd both gotten the same amount of sleep, yet somehow Oikawa still managed to be chipper and aware, not at all like the grumpy, zombie-like state Iwaizumi had been in most of the day.

A small, sudden pain shot through Iwaizumi's side, and on reflex he reached back and smacked the closest part of Oikawa he could reach. The resulting yelp from his friend had him chuckling into his pillows. "If you're done being rude," Oikawa pouted, digging his elbows into Iwaizumi's side harder. 

"Never," he said with a grin.

" _Anyhow_ ," the word was said with the perfect amount of annunciation, topped with a sharp elbow to his side, "I was saying, I would be beside myself if something were to happen to my darling Iwa-chan."

"Why am I a part of this conversation again?"

Oikawa leered at him through his bangs. Iwaizumi held his stare with feigned disinterest, trying his hardest not to grin and break the facade. "I am trying to discuss the situation with your reoccurring nightmares, Iwa-chan, keep up," Oikawa huffed. He pouted and turned away, but Iwaizumi understood. Below all his haughtiness, all the pomp and fanfare, he really did care about Iwaizumi's well being. The good luck charms were just Oikawa's way of showing it. Despite always liking to be the center of attention, he preferred to quietly show his support for Iwaizumi, maybe afraid Iwaizumi would turn down his help if he knew.

Of course he knew, and of course he'd never turn down Oikawa's concern.

Iwaizumi huffed a sigh and rolled onto his side, laughing softly at Oikawa's sudden unbalance as he lost his backrest. "Rest," he commanded, reaching up to tug at a strand of chestnut locks. "Tomorrow is our first practice, Captain, and you got as much sleep as I did."

Stretching out on the bed besides his best friend, Oikawa grinned like he'd just won a prize. Iwaizumi didn't care for that grin, it was too scheming. "Oh? Iwa-chan, are you actually going to let me play tomorrow?"

"Of course I am, dumbass, you're the captain. Now go to your own bed."

"But what if you have your nightmare again?" Oikawa's eyes were big and searching, actually concerned that the dream would come back to haunt Iwaizumi again. Which, the nightmare had never come consecutively. It'd gradually increased, from when he'd started having it in his third year, to having it once every half a year to once every month, but it never happened two nights in a row. Iwaizumi was about to tell Oikawa this, but the look he was giving him, the deep worry creased in his eyebrows and the downturned lines of his mouth, stopped the words from leaving him.

Instead, he sighed and rolled over. If it were anyone other than Oikawa, this would be so easy. If it had been for any other reason, Iwaizumi wouldn't mind easily kicking him off the mattress. But instead, he lets his shoulders relax, because he's never been able to handle Oikawa's outright concern for him. "Fine," he conceded, and tried not to let his cheeks burn too hot when Oikawa let out a satisfied whoop of victory and curled right up to Iwaizumi's back.

"Don't worry my poor, defenseless Iwa-chan, your beautiful, absolutely generous, wonderfully sweet Oikawa will scare off those bad dreams."

"I will change my mind."

Oikawa laughed, warm and breathless, against Iwaizumi's shoulder blades. "Such a bully. You should be nicer to me, Iwa-chan, in light of all that I do for you."

"Yeah, yeah," Iwaizumi yawned. His eyelids were growing heavy and his bed felt so soft and warm. Oikawa was pressed against his back, his breath warm on his collar and his fingers lightly pressing into his hip. Having Oikawa in the same bed as him always felt reassuring, Iwaizumi's tired mind conceded, before he drifted off to sleep.

That night, the only figure he was chasing after in his dreams was Oikawa on a broomstick, the two of them soaring and rolling through the air as if they were dancing, and the only red that haunted him the next morning was his own bleeding heart.

-

It was a relief to be stepping back out onto the Quidditch pitch. Despite the looming pressure of try-outs over his head since, as vice captain, he'd have to help keep an eye out for fresh potential and future members of the team, he felt oddly calm. If anything, he was itching to kick off the ground, to barrel through the air and feel the wind biting his cheeks again.

Further out on the field, Matsukawa and Hanamaki were rounding up the attendees, new and old alike, cracking jokes and trying to lighten up the anxious newcomers while they waited for their captain to take over.

Which, speaking of, hadn't Oikawa been walking out of the locker rooms right behind him?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blur of yellow, and instinctively jumped on his broom as a mischievous "Iwa-chan, see if you can keep up!" was chirped his way. Deciding that Hanamaki and Matsukawa were adept enough to handle practice for a little while, Iwaizumi sped off after their wayward captain.

Oikawa had been dying to return to the field ever since he'd fallen off his broom and injured his knee during the finals last year. He'd whined and pouted for the entirety of summer break because Iwaizumi wouldn't let him practice (with a firm "You live in a non-magic neighborhood,stupid"), so Iwaizumi wasn't surprised by Oikawa's eagerness. If anything, he was grateful for it, grinning as Hanamaki and Matsukawa's protests grew fainter and fainter below him.

Iwaizumi was up in the air behind him, following every roll and dip Oikawa threw his way as they raced around the school, dodging gargoyles, swooping beneath bridges, and weaving in and out of spires. It was freeing, simply following Oikawa's lead and flying without a care. The grins on their faces matched, and Oikawa gave Iwaizumi a cheeky wink before sharply turning towards the lake. Of course, Iwaizumi was right on his tail.

They coasted over the lapping water, taking a moment to catch their breaths. Oikawa's feet were skimming the water's surface as he smiled lazily at the waves.

"I missed this," he said simply.

Iwaizumi hummed in response, and kicked a bit of water. Oikawa laughed breathlessly as he dodged the splashes, and kicked some back in retaliation.

He'd missed this too. He'd missed Quidditch as well, the fierce competition, the rush of adrenaline and excitement of the sport. Following Oikawa as he lead the team to victory, through losses. Quidditch was thrilling and fun, but that... that was different from this, flying free and aimless. When just enjoying each other and the feel of the wind whipping around them was enough.

"Just don't pull anything stupid this year," he said instead, voice bland and teasing, but he knew Oikawa could see the sentiment in his face. "Like falling off your broom."

Oikawa huffed at him, and swerved to knock his side against Iwaizumi's with a pointed "oops~" and a wolf grin.

"Brattykawa," Iwaizumi seethed, rocking on his broom from the impact. He kicked up his leg and slammed it against Oikawa's thigh. "That's what I told you not to do," he said as Oikawa squacked in surprise.

"That was uncalled for, Iwa-chan! I have an injured knee!"

"That's not even the right leg, dumbass! And besides, your knee is fine."

Oikawa stuck his tongue out at Iwaizumi, but instead of teasing more, seemed to sober up. "We'll do it this year," he said, gaze suddenly sharp and unwavering. "We'll defeat Ushiwaka and win the house cup."

Iwaizumi kicked at him again, hitting his ankle this time. "Stupid, it's not Ushiwaka who's the competition," but his voice was softer than intended and he let his broom carry him until he bumped shoulders with his best friend. "But yeah," he breathed, before turning and facing Oikawa with a determined grin on his face. 

"This year, we'll beat him for sure." No knee injuries, no lack of conviction, nothing would get in their way.

Oikawa looked a little too smug, and for once Iwaizumi was going to let him. Until an ugly smirk appeared instead and he said, "I can't wait to see his sullen face in defeat. Just think! The almighty Ushiwaka defeated by the mere half-blood he wishes was on his team. Victory would feel so sweet~"

A sudden spray of water splashed up onto Oikawa, getting his hair and robes wet from impact. He sputtered, before turning to Iwaizumi and glowering at him through droopy bangs. Iwaizumi matched his glower until Oikawa puffed his cheeks up and turned away with a "hmph" and started flying back to shore. "Suit yourself Iwa-chan, you can be a big meanie all by yourself."

Iwaizumi just stared dully at his retreating back until he was far enough away, before leaning far over his broom, kicking his feet up, and blasting as fast as he could across the water's surface. His force shook the waters beneath him, and he sped across the lake, leaving a meandering Oikawa in his wake. He heard a yell from behind, and soon Oikawa was on his tail as Iwaizumi led them back to the Quidditch field.

They'd just gotten back to the pitch, hearts thrumming and grinning widely, not even fully landed and off their brooms, when a swish and blue and copper filled their vision. The wild, windswept chaos of Oikawa's hair and pink, wind-burned cheeks, Iwaizumi noticed, did not suit the disgusted sneer that spread over his face. Not that his own expression was much better, probably also pink from the high winds and exertion, as they glowered at the approaching Ravenclaw captain.

Or at least, who they thought was the Ravenclaw captain.

Instead of the intimidating and brooding Ushijima Wakatoshi, who had been the Ravenclaw's favored player five years running, a different teenager stood in front of him. His hair was a fluffy warm grey which faded black at the tips, and he was tall for a fifth year. Semi Eita, one of Ravenclaw's Keepers, stood before them, eyes set but a little unnerved. Especially with Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and Kyoutani stepping up behind the Captain and his Ace.

"Well, well, well," Oikawa started, his voice on edge. "if it isn't one of Ushiwaka's teammates. What, Mr. High and Mighty himself can't come down to greet this year's competition?"

Semi raised his hands like white flags in front of him. "I come in peace," he insisted, holding Oikawa's glare with his own small glower. "I just wanted to let you know that Ushijima isn't attending Hogwarts this year."

Iwaizumi could feel his blood go cold.

"He's transferred to Durmstrang for the year, to play for their Quidditch team since they're playing at an international level in the spring."

The pitch was awfully silent as the older players let the comment sink in. Iwaizumi felt defiant, wanting to doubt the Ravenclaw standing in front of him, but what reason would he have to lie? Semi had come out to confront the entire Hufflepuff team just to tell them that their main rival, the one who'd stolen every victory from between their fingers for years, wouldn't be attending this year. Of course it had to be true.

Which means they actually had a shot at winning this year.

Oikawa was still looking down his nose at Semi with a haughty scowl on his face, before he turned, grabbing onto Iwaizumi's sleeves. "Then I guess we'll just have to see how Ravenclaw can stand on their own two feet," he jeered, sending a wicked grin over to Semi. "Without their precious Ushiwaka."

He then started toward the new players, clapping his hands loudly together. "Alright team, you hear that? We better get training extra hard so we can crush the other teams this year. The House Cup is going to be ours!"

The newbies broke into an uproar, and even the returning members looked more amped up than Iwaizumi was used to. He glanced at Oikawa, grinning and amassing everyone for the try-outs. He looked excited, a shine to his eye as he stood in front of the awed underclassmen, and Iwaizumi was glad. Maybe a win would be good for Oikawa.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startled him a bit, and Iwaizumi turned to find Semi standing next to him. His eyes were trained on the Hufflepuff captain, and he looked like he wanted to say something.

Iwaizumi waited a few moments, but was only met with silence, before he brought his arm up to scratch at his neck. "Er, congratulations, on your captain playing for Internationals," he offered, surprised at how sincere he sounded. His competitiveness didn't rival Oikawa's, although he definitely matched it in the presence of their rival, but he'd had his fair share of frustrations aimed at Ushijima.

The tips of Semi's mouth turned up in a fleeting smile. "You too," he said, still watching Oikawa. Iwaizumi gave him a funny look, and Semi sighed softly. "He's really good. What happened last year was a real shame. But Wakatoshi approached him, regardless of his injury, and asked him to play with him over at Durmstrang."

Semi looked a bit bitter about that, his face growing darker from the admission. Iwaizumi almost didn't notice, with how his heart immediately seized up.

Ushijima... asked Oikawa to go with him?

He felt a tremor run through his jaw, and Iwaizumi wondered why this was the first time he'd heard of this. He too, turned his attention back to his captain. Oikawa currently had his game face on, and was splitting the newcomers into teams so he could watch them compete, to see how well they all played. "I can't image ever turning down a chance to play on the international stage," Semi spoke up, his tone sharp. "Especially with the skills he has."

Iwaizumi wanted to say something back, but he was still reeling. How could Oikawa not tell him? How could he not know?

"Well, I guess I'll see you around," Semi said, and turned to leave. Before Iwaizumi could get a moment to let the new information sink in, he was ambushed by his teammates, dragging him to the field for the try-outs. "You know how the captain gets," Hanamaki teased, latching onto his arm. "Can't do anything without his vice," Matsukawa agreed, pushing Iwaizumi towards the field. "We'll just stay down grounded and watch."

Luckily, Iwaizumi had come back to his wits enough to snap at the two. "Stop being upset we left the newbies with you."

"Oh?" Hanamaki didn't look nearly as innocent as he wanted to sound. "Us? Upset about your little joyride? Well I'd never."

"There, there, Makki, don't listen to the mean Iwaizumi, he was just leaving anyways." And with that, Matsukawa steered his friend, a sly, lazy grin on his face, toward the benches. Iwaizumi sighed and made his way out onto the pitch.

Quidditch passed by without giving Iwaizumi much time to think. They had their hands full playing alongside and assessing the kids trying out for the team. Afterwards, he poured over the results with his fellow sixth years, throwing things he noticed, strong and weak, about players, along with Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa. He was surprisingly glad that Makki and Mattsun had stayed grounded, as they had a good scope of the games and gave a lot of suggestions on things that even Oikawa missed.

It took up most of the day, and Iwaizumi was so sore and tired from a lazy summer that he forgot to bring his conversation with Semi up to Oikawa. The both of them were exhausted, falling over each other on their way back to the dorms, and Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to relax his sore muscles.

-

Iwaizumi was having another dream.

This one wasn't one of his nightmares, but it wasn't exactly something he wanted to be dreaming about either. 

He was standing in front of his locker in a changing room. It wasn't the Quidditch pitch's room, like he was used to. Instead, white artificial lights buzzed from the ceiling, casting a solemn grey glow around the room. It was empty, besides lockers and benches, desolate in a way Iwaizumi hated seeing the locker room. No chatter from his teammates, no hum of the showers running, or clattering of locker doors nor feet on the tiles. The silence was thick and congesting, and on top of that, a heavy weight sat on Iwaizumi's shoulders, had him biting his lip and left him trembling.

It felt a lot like defeat.

Suddenly, loud footsteps rang behind him, but instead of turning to them, welcoming the presence of another person, Iwaizumi felt his skin crawl. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and his clammy fists unconsciously clenched tight at his side. He knew exactly who was going to be behind him.

The footsteps came to a halt a few feet behind him. "Iwaizumi Hajime."

He turned around at the call of his name. Ushijima stood squarely in front of him, his arms crossed and his face as impassive as ever. A sick feeling curled in Iwaizumi's stomach, because _oh_ , that's why he was feeling defeated. Normally, a hot rage would've boiled in him upon seeing that face, especially so soon after a defeat, but maybe that was Oikawa's influence. Instead, Iwaizumi felt a strange sort of strangled calm overcome him, despite somehow knowing whatever Ushijima wanted to say to him was something he didn't want to hear.

"You played exceptionally well today," Ushijima said, his expression and words honest.  
"Not well enough to win," Iwaizumi retorted. He hated that Ushijima, the best player in the school, was also the most brutally honest person, because there was no taunt behind that comment, but there was no sincere praise to it either.

Ushijima blinked slowly at Iwaizumi, before he folded his arms across his chest. "No, not today. But maybe some other day." Iwaizumi felt his skin crawl and his eye twitch dangerously. Was Ushijima aware of how provoking those words were? "And Oikawa as well, played exceptional, but he does every match. Tell me, does he plan on going pro?"

For a moment, Iwaizumi forgot entirely how to breathe. Ushijima continued without notice. "He is leagues ahead of the rest of your team. Without him as your captain, Hufflepuff wouldn't be a top contender this year. And I'd ask him personally about this, but after his accident, he's basically unapproachable right now, and I don't know if I'd get another chance."

Doing his best to stamp down his reaction to the obvious insult to his team (spoken, Iwaizumi dares not to admit, heartbreakingly honest), Iwaizumi took a shaky breath. Why did Ushijima want to ask about Oikawa's post-graduation plans? Was he planning on something for the two of them together? He almost, almost, laughed bitterly, because no, Oikawa would never allow that. "Is that why you approached me? To ask about Oikawa's future?" he found himself asking between grinding teeth.

"Yes, you seen to spend the most time with him, so you're my best bet for an answer."

Thinking about Oikawa playing professionally was something Iwaizumi always tended to avoid. Oikawa was an exceptional athlete and gave it his all everytime he was out on the pitch, and it showed. His strategies were respected by the coaches enough to let him lead the team huddles, and when he was out on the field in the middle of the action, he conquered. It was as if Iwaizumi were watching an emperor of old, reigning over his troops in a battlefield rather than sitting atop his broom in a stadium.

But professionally? Iwaizumi knew Oikawa. He'd seen his captain drive himself to exhaustion improving new techniques. He'd watched the dark bags under his eyes grow worse as he hyperfocused on upcoming matches. He'd just watched Oikawa fail to beat the Ravenclaw house again, after countless defeats to Ushijima and his team. He'd been beside Oikawa on the ground, a minute before their defeat, as the nurse and teachers carried him off the field, haggard breathing and knee twisted up from where he fell on it.

Oikawa still had the drive to play. Quidditch still burned through Oikawa's veins, passionately driving him out to the pitch day after day, even in the face of his loses. But did he want to continue on professionally?

He wasn't sure if he even had the answer for Ushijima. "Why?"

And Ushijima eyed him, sizing him up, Iwaizumi would've guessed. And maybe he saw the uncertainty in the Hufflepuff's eyes, heard it in the way the 'why' escaped his mouth. "Because the Quidditch pitch is his home," he answered. He uncrossed his arms and turned to leave. But, in a very Ushijima Wakatoshi way, he peered over his shoulder. "And he should consider that, when deciding to move on in the future."

With that, Ushijima left without another word, leaving a shaken Iwaizumi alone in the locker room, doubt clouding his mind.

Iwaizumi awoke from that dream feeling like he'd been plunged into icy water. It was the exact scene as it had played out in the Quidditch locker rooms last year, after Ravenclaw had defeated them in the House Cup Finals. It left him feeling sick and drained, having Ushijima pressure him for information so soon after a defeat, just as it had last spring.

Taking a deep breath, Iwaizumi looked to his side. Oikawa was over on his own bed, and in the moonlight from the window he could see Oikawa's back and shoulders, his usually kept hair splayed out over the pillow. His breathing was deep and even, and watching it brought a sense of ease to Iwaizumi.

He needed to ask him. Ask Oikawa about Ushijima, about Durmstrang, and tell him about the run-in he'd had with their rival after the finals last year. Throw everything on the table. It was strange that they'd been keeping these secrets from each other, they usually let each other know everything. And Iwaizumi couldn't imagine Oikawa keeping something so huge a secret, especially if it involved Ushijima, because normally he'd complain Iwaizumi's ear off about stuff like that.

Tomorrow, Iwaizumi promised himself, watching the calming rise a fall of Oikawa's shoulders in slumber. Tomorrow, for sure. And with that, he fell into a much calmer, peaceful sleep.

-

Iwaizumi felt unsettled and he wanted nothing more than to sit Oikawa down to discuss Ushijima, but it seemed like life was working against him. For some reason, he couldn't get any alone time with Oikawa. The common room had more students than usual, and there'd be people conveniently sitting across from them in the dining hall at breakfast. Between classes, girls swarmed Oikawa and he'd entertained them, much to Iwaizumi's dismay. Normally he wouldn't mind, but when he wasn't being granted the ten minutes of alone time he needed with Oikawa, his patience was wearing thin.

Hanamaki found him sitting under a tree in the courtyard. "Whoa," he said with no affliction to his voice nor surprise written on his face. "Someone looks like he's been jinxed with the grumpy curse."

"There's no such thing," Iwaizumi grumbled. He was trying to read over Oikawa's notes for Herbology. His best friend was infuriatingly good with plants, and they had an exam coming up.

"Not _yet_ ," Hanamaki replied with a wolf grin and waggling eyebrows. "You never know what kind of grumpy essence we could find if we tried brewing a draught with your DNA in it. Could I borrow some hair?"

"I dunno, can I borrow some better friends?"

"Harsh."

The two sat in silence, Hanamaki conceding to Iwaizumi's annoyed silence and pulling out his own materials to study. They stayed there for ten, bleeding into twenty minutes, before Iwaizumi scratched a hand through his hair in annoyance, because _why can he get quality alone time with Makki when-_

"You know," Hanamaki said, assessing him carefully, "if you need something, you can always ask."

Iwaizumi sighed. "I just want some alone time with Oikawa."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he'd regret them. He steeled himself for Hanamaki's jests. But only a grin came over Makki's face, and then followed by, "that's easy, man. I can't believe you've been stressing over something so simple. Just ask him to go with you up to the Astronomy Tower. It's quiet up there, and he likes astronomy a lot, right?"

It seemed like a sound plan, except, "Isn't that forbidden for students, except during class?"

Hanamaki shrugged. "I mean, sure, but if you ask nicely, I'm pretty sure there's a prefect who's willing to keep an eye out while you two canoodle." He had that sly, shit-eating grin on his face again. Iwaizumi groaned, cheeks going red. There it was, he had been expecting that.

"What do you want," Iwaizumi asked once his cheeks didn't feel on fire.

"For my friends to be happy," Hanamaki replied, listing off his fingers. "World peace. A million galleons."

At the mention of money, Iwaizumi lurched to attention, fished around in his pocket. _Hanamaki will love this, if you ever need a favor from him,_ Matsukawa had told him a few days ago, slipping a few coins into his pocket. He must've been anticipating this. _Put it to good use, Iwaizumi._

And people told Iwaizumi he was the one good at divination.

"I can't do anything about the first few," he said, "but I've got some money you can have."

Hanamaki was smiling so hard he was practically glowing. "I can take Issei out to try that new drink they have at Hogsmeade! Apparently, it's so strong that it feels like somebody hit you with a petrification curse."

He held out his hands eagerly, and Iwaizumi dropped a few coins into them. "Don't spend deez all in one place," he said, hashing out the line Matsukawa had taught him. It took a lot of effort to stamp down a smirk from Hanamaki's reaction.

"Iwaizumi," he gasped, breathless and unabashedly grinning, " _Hajime_ , did you just say-"

The childish excitement Hanamaki's voice and the gleam in his eyes was making it hard to not break, so Iwaizumi cut his friend off. "Deez knuts, I mean."

"Hajime," Hanamaki wheezed, almost doubled over, and Iwaizumi was pretty sure he was in tears, "Hajime, that was all I needed. I'll do whatever you want."

-

"Hey," Iwaizumi said, approaching Oikawa. It was late, and most of their housemates were asleep around them, but ever the night owl, Oikawa was still up. He had a small flashlight perched behind his ear, a low-beam light that wasn't as bright or as bothersome to others as Lumos. The Quidditch captain was flipping through his notes from their tryouts, a collection of strengths and weaknesses he'd assembled with help from the older players. Iwaizumi knew the canidates hadn't been selected just yet, and that he probably shouldn't be bothering Oikawa while he was in the middle of something so important.

But he also knew Oikawa could work on it tomorrow night.

He tossed Oikawa's cloak over to him, which was easily caught, and said, "Get decent, we're going out tonight."

Instead of whining, of protesting with a "but Iwa-chan, how will I get my beauty sleep if you're dragging me out at all hours of the night?" or arguing that he was busy, Oikawa stared at him for a few seconds. His watchful eyes were trying to discern his friend's intentions. Iwaizumi knew Oikawa could read him like the back of his own hand, that they knew each other well enough for him to realize that this was important. Neither of them were known to back down from a challenge, and Iwaizumi held his gaze steadily, a slight furrow to his brows and his shoulders tense.

Instead of a show, a grade facade of teasing or unwillingness, Oikawa obediently wrapped the cloak around his shoulders and shoed on his slippers. He followed Iwaizumi out of the dormitory without a word, but the question in his eyes never left. 

They quietly slipped out of the dormant common room, and Oikawa reached out and latched on to Iwaizumi's arm as they started walking down the corridors. "Hanamaki's patrolling these halls tonight," Iwaizumi said, hoping it would relieve Oikawa's occasional glance thrown down empty hallways. "We should be fine walking around. He said he'll drive any prying prefects or professors off."

"Iwa-chan knows how to plan well for a date," Oikawa said, finally teasing. He poked at Iwaizumi's cheek for emphasis.

Iwaizumi blushed and swatted Oikawa's finger away. "Stupid, I wouldn't risk getting detention for a date."

He was met with a smirk. "But you'll risk my reputation for a date?"

"Drop the date stuff, Oikawa, I just need to talk to you." And with that he shook out of Oikawa's grip and stalked off a few paces ahead.

"Iwa-chan is so stoic tonight," Oikawa scoffed, but continued to follow Iwaizumi through the corridors. "So grumpy," he mumbled. "So curt."

They reached the courtyard before the tower, and Oikawa finally caught on to where Iwaizumi was taking him. He once again latched onto Iwaizumi and spoke excitedly in his ear, "Iwa-chan! You know it's off limits to go up there!"

"Yeah, well, Hanamaki's cleared the area for us for a few hours, he even convinced the Bloody Baron to try haunting a different place tonight. We'll be fine."

Daring to look over, Iwaizumi was met with bright, shining brown eyes and a large, happy smile spread over Oikawa's face. Of course he was excited to be taken up for a late night star-viewing. And of course, Iwaizumi realized with a sinking feeling, he was going to ruin it by asking about Ushijima.

There was a note on the handle to the tower door, a little paper that just said "Have a good time you two ;)" and "but don't stay past 1am" in Hanamaki's handwriting. Iwaizumi crumpled it and put it in his pocket while Oikawa laughed softly.

The stairway to the top of the tower was pitch black, and they were only walking by the light of Oikawa's flashlight. It was enough light to get them through, but Iwaizumi still thread his fingers through Oikawa's before letting his best friend lead them up the stairs. So neither of them would fall behind, he told himself, or get too far ahead. Oikawa squeezed his hand knowingly and guided them to the top of the tower.

It was a late summer night, and the air met them with a gentle breeze when Oikawa opened the door to the tower. The sky was more clear than not, and a blanket of stars covered whatever the clouds kept clear. The moon, wide and waxing, shed enough light on the wood floor and walls and structures of the tower for them to see, and Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi all the way across the room until they were at the balcony. They both stared in awe at the scene before them: the moonlit waves of the quiet lake, the ever-shifting Forbidden Forest swaying softly in the breeze, and the vast, beautiful sparkling sky above.

Several minutes of silence passed between them, as they soaked in the view. It was beautiful, the calming atmosphere of the school and beyond, and the company.

Oikawa had shifted to lean into Iwaizumi's side, exhaling softly as he admired the heavens above.

"Iwa-chan, tell me my horoscope."

Iwaizumi gave him a very pointed, very disgruntled look. "I thought astronomy was your thing."

"It is," Oikawa hummed, "but you're good at divination. And since _astrology_ is a type of divination, Iwa-chan, tell me my horoscope."

"You're hopeless, that's not how that even works," Iwaizumi muttered before focusing back up at the stars again. They fell quiet for a minute again, before Iwaizumi's eyes caught on the Big Dipper constellation. Oikawa was born in July, so that made him... "You're what, a cancer? Where is that?"

"You can't see it right now, it's in the southern hemisphere," Oikawa huffed, a little deflated. 

With a hopeless sigh and a roll of the eyes, Iwaizumi nudged Oikawa with his hip, gaining the captain's attention. He smiled at the questioning look on Oikawa's face. "I dunno how accurate of a prediction this is going to be, but your future is looking a little crabby."

Oikawa blinked at him, confused for a moment, then blinked again. And then, he looked like he was stuck between wanting to smack Iwaizumi and laugh. He ended up doing a little bit of both. He giggled, soft and cute, and slapped at Iwaizumi's arm. "That's not a horoscope, you dummy! That's just- that's just bad!"

They both dissolved into a fit of giggles, Oikawa interrupting with little interjections of _"you're going to be crabby, Iwa-chan!"_ and _"that's not even how you tell someone their horoscope"_. At some point, Oikawa released his hold on Iwaizumi's hand (their fingers had remained intertwined since they'd entered the tower) to settle on the floor, his knees knocking against Iwaizumi's shins and tugging expectantly on his sleeve until his friend also sat down on the ground beside him.

Hair tickled Iwaizumi's cheek as Oikawa lay his head against his shoulder. "So what did you want to talk about, Iwa-chan?"

And just like that, the gentle atmosphere around him soured, the warmth that was flowing through Iwaizumi from their shared presence turned into a prickling, nauseating anxiety crawling through his veins. If Iwaizumi were a weaker man, he might've chickened out, played it as he just wanted to spend some alone time as Oikawa. However, this was Oikawa, who knew that Iwaizumi wouldn't have pulled him up to a restricted area of the castle just to kill some time, and besides-

"I've... I had another nightmare. A different one."

He'd never been able to be anything but truthful to his best friend.

Oikawa was suddenly in front of him, looking at him in alarm, his eyes wide and his fingers clutching onto Iwaizumi's sleeve, the tips pressing into his skin. "Iwa-chan, is it another prophetic one?"

"No, it's nothing that drastic, it's just- do you remember last year? After we lost the finals?" Of course Oikawa remembered, and a brief shot of hurt crossed over his face, and they both glanced down at Oikawa's knee. 

Both seekers had eyes on the snitch, Oikawa just a little further ahead than Semi had been. Iwaizumi had been on Ushijima's tail, trying to find an opening to wrestle his fellow chaser out of scoring another point for Ravenclaw. As Oikawa caught up to the snitch, his fingers outreached and almost grazing his prize, a stray bludger had come whirling straight at Oikawa, slamming violently into his ribcage and making him lose balance. He plummeted from his broom. Ravenclaw had caught the snitch, and the announcer was in an uproar about the win, but Iwaizumi couldn't hear over his own heartbeat and the rush of the wind as he tried to catch Oikawa, tried to stop his descent, but he was too far away and gravity was faster than him.

Oikawa had hit the ground knee-first, and that moment alone had been more earth-shattering than their fourth consecutive loss to their rivals.

Iwaizumi bit his lip and reached out for something to hold on to, and Oikawa caught his hand with his own and squeezed it. It wasn't an easy memory for either of them, and make it that much harder for Iwaizumi to force the words out. "It wasn't the fall, it was after that, when I was in the locker rooms. Ushiwaka approached me-"

A sneer crossed over Oikawa's face, and he gripped Iwaizumi's hand harder. It caught Iwaizumi off guard - he should've expected a response like this, but it was so sudden and so vile that it took him by surprise. "Iwa-chan, if you're having _nightmares_ about Ushiwaka-"

"That's not it, it wasn't about Ushiwaka, more like a haunting memory-"

"Now he's _haunting_ your dreams?!" Oikawa was seething. He looked about two seconds away from launching into a tirade about how he was going to march to Durmstrang and kicking Ushijima's ass, and in alarm Iwaizumi used his free hand to knock Oikawa out of it.

"Ow!" Oikawa yelped, in surprise rather than pain, and began to rub where Iwaizumi had smacked his head.

"Dumbass, listen to me." He was met with a pout, but Oikawa stayed quiet, rubbing at his cheek. Iwaizumi sighed and brushed his thumb against where Oikawa's fingers were interlocked with his own as a sort of apology. "He didn't say anything... bad, he just- he wanted to know if- if you wanted to continue playing Quidditch. Professionally."

Oikawa continued to stare at him, hard, like the words weren't processing. Iwaizumi was nervous, his heart was beating and his fingers were growing sweaty in Oikawa's grasp. "I think he was asking if- if you'd go pro. And it sounded like he wanted to know, because, I think he wants to play with you."

The silence that followed his words was stifling, Oikawa just staring at Iwaizumi, his eyes narrowed in thought, and it made the skin prickle on Iwaizumi's neck.

"You mean, wants me to play for him," was what Oikawa replied with, and Iwaizumi met his stare. Oikawa seemed to deflate at that, flicking his hair back with a staged sigh. "Oh Iwa-chan, you had me worried for a minute there. I thought this was going to be something more important, life-shattering even. You really had me when you mentioned having another nightmare-"

Something in Oikawa's words, in his flippant response to the thing Iwaizumi had been stressing over for the last few nights, bristled at being written off so quickly. Iwaizumi was taken aback at Oikawa's response, but then immediately filled with hurt because he had been worried about this for days, and _"I thought this was going to be more important"_ rang through his ears.

Iwaizumi ripped his hand out of Oikawa's, and steeled himself as he looked into Oikawa's suddenly confused eyes. "This _is_ important, you idiot," Iwaizumi retorted, his voice harsh. "You don't care about that? About your future, if you want to pursue Quidditch professionally?" They were graduating next year, and Iwaizumi knew it would be a big problem on their plates if they didn't at least start thinking about the future.

Oikawa regarded Iwaizumi with a strange, watchful look. "Of course I've thought about it, Iwa-chan, but it's nothing worth stressing over it yet."

"Then what about Ushijima? And how he wants you two to continue on together?"

"So?"

"I know Ushijima asked you to follow him to Durmstrang this year."

Oikawa stilted at those words, and the momentary blowback strong enough for hurt and shame to cross his face, his eyes averting away from Iwaizumi's. "Why didn't you tell me, Oikawa? He asked you to go to Durmstrang, to- to play internationally! And you didn't think to mention that?"

Oikawa turned and met Iwaizumi with defiant eyes at the tone of his words. "It was inconsequential," he replied, his tone cutting yet flippant. Like he was trying to make Iwaizumi drop the conversation.

Unfortunately, Iwaizumi was as stubborn as Oikawa sometimes. "How is this inconsequential, Oikawa, this could've propelled you into the pro leagues! I don't understa-"

"It doesn't matter!" Oikawa interrupted, his fists curling at his sides. He unclenched them a few times, pushing his bangs back to try to find something to do with his hands in vain. "I told you, Iwa-chan, it's inconsequential. I didn't want to play with Ushiwaka at some other school. That's it, I don't care, so if you could just drop this-"

"I won't," Iwaizumi bit back, a little harsher than he wanted. They were both too on edge and too defensive, staring each other squarely down. "Oikawa, this is international recognition. The entire world would be watching you play! And you're telling me you turned it down? Oikawa, this was your chance-"

"It's not a chance I _wanted-_ "

"And you're going to turn it down over a stupid spat with a rival?!"

Oikawa froze at his words, his brain slowly processing what Iwaizumi was saying, and Iwaizumi immediately regretted what he said as he watched his best friend still. That wasn't fair to claim, it wasn't fair for Oikawa. Oikawa's rivalry to Ushijima - and consequentially, his, as well - made them into the Quidditch players they were today. It was important to both of them, and he knew that couldn't be the only reason Oikawa would turn down such an opportunity- but his mouth was acting on spitfire, his brain clouded with frustration an anger and now...

Before he could get an apology out, or any attempt to retract his words, Oikawa's face scrunched up in anger, and suddenly he was pushing Iwaizumi away from him and scrambling to his feet. 

"Oikawa, wait-"

He was already starting towards the staircase, his fists still clenched at his sides and Iwaizumi caught a glance of a slight tremor in his shoulders. He needed to fix this right now, to set things straight, to apologize for his words-

"Oikawa-"

"If you really think," Oikawa answered, spinning around and glaring at Iwaizumi with a darkened look, his mouth tight and eyes glassy and _red_ , "that this is only about Ushiwaka, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought, Iwa-chan."

And with a defiant turn, his cloak billowing behind him, Oikawa descended the dark staircase, leaving Iwaizumi alone.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If he's being too stubborn to listen to you, just do what you always do: smack some sense into him."

It had been a week since their argument, and so far Oikawa had been doing a very good job at avoiding Iwaizumi at all costs, despite them being in the same house and sleeping next to each other in the dormitories.

"If I'd known you'd blow it, I wouldn't have offered you any advice," Hanamaki lamented with a nonplussed face, casually flipping through the Daily Prophet. They were sitting together in the dining hall, Iwaizumi _not_ moping over the fact that Oikawa had seated himself between a gaggle of girls at the Gryffindor table. He shot an uninterested glance over to Iwaizumi. "How'd you screw this up so badly?"

Iwaizumi speared his food with a knife. "I asked him about Ushiwaka," he answered truthfully. No reason to beat around the bush now, he wasn't trying to hide anything. "He asked Oikawa to go with him to Durmstrang this year."

"Huh."

"And he didn't want to talk about why he declined, and I kept pushing him, and now he won't talk to me or let me apologize."

Hanamaki put down his newspaper to give Iwaizumi a long, reading look. "You keep having this problem, you know."

"What problem?"

"You keep driving yourself into a corner where you need to talk to Oikawa but can't, and now I have to come in and rescue you _again_." Hanamaki gave Iwaizumi a lazy grin. "You should owe me for this."

"I can go ask Mattsun," Iwaizumi challenged.

"Fine, fine." Hanamaki picked up the newspaper again. "If he's being too stubborn to listen to you, just do what you always do: smack some sense into him."

-

Luck seemed to be on Iwaizumi's side because, later that evening, after he had been mulling on Hanamaki's words, he realized he had forgotten one of his textbooks in the dormitory. He knew Professor Mizoguchi would chew him out for sharing with Matsukawa ( _again_ ), so he hurried back to grab the book. It was supposed to be an in and out trip, run up, grab it, and make it to class on time.

Instead he found Oikawa laying on his stomach on his bed in the otherwise empty room, flippantly flipping through a textbook. The other boy continued to dutifully read his book, giving no indication that he cared that someone else had walked into the dorms, and Iwaizumi stood stunned in the doorway. This was the first time he'd been close to Oikawa since they had been up in the astronomy tower, and suddenly he felt like his feet and throat were weighed down with lead.

Hanamaki's words echoed through his head, _if he's being too stubborn to listen to you-_

Oikawa finally seemed to notice him, flicking his eyes up and peering at Iwaizumi through his brown bangs. "Oh, Iwa-chan."

It was a simple phrase, with little infliction. The sound of his name being said though, brought Iwaizumi out of his slight stupor, and he took a deep, grounding breath, crossed the room to between their beds, reeled back-

And slammed his forehead into Oikawa's.

_-just do what you always do: smack some sense into him._

Rubbing absently at his pounding forehead, Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa, who had fallen half off of the bed with a loud squawk of surprise, his legs still tangled in the sheets. He was propped up on an elbow, and rubbing at his own forehead with his other arm. He looked up and caught Iwaizumi glaring at him, and glowered right back.

"You can't just brute force your way through everything, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa screeched, and Iwaizumi was glad they were alone in the dormitory, otherwise there'd be quite the scene. He was used to Oikawa causing scenes, but over something more personal like their argument, well, he was just glad for their seclusion.

The pounding in his head was nothing new for either of them, Iwaizumi used to headbutt Oikawa all the time when they were younger. He had mellowed out a bit since his middle years of Hogwarts, although sometimes-

"That's what you get for avoiding me, asshole, I've been trying to apologize to you all week!"

Sometimes, it was his only arsenal in getting through to Oikawa.

Oikawa continued to glare up at him even as he pulled himself into a sitting position on the floor, his chin resting on his arms on the edge of his bed, with his eyes never once leaving Iwaizumi's. His jaw was clenched, his eyes narrow and face skewed in a frown, and there was a slight tremor in his shoulders that gave it away. He was actually, legitimately angry. But then again, that made two of them.

Of course Iwaizumi knew Oikawa had every right to be mad at him. But Iwaizumi was more frustrated by the cold shoulder he'd been given all week. All the lengths Oikawa went to make sure he couldn't be caught alone before bedtime, the crowds of people he'd surround himself with at lunch, the seat he'd leave vacant in class...

Iwaizumi was sick of it all.

So Iwaizumi dropped his act. He wasn't angry, he was drained, exhausted. Tired. He just wanted everything to stop feeling tilted, for him and Oikawa to go back to being him and Oikawa. His shoulders hunched, he dropped his eyes to the floor, and ran his hands over his face to clear his mind.

"Oikawa," he started, trying to find traction. Trying to figure out what to say. His eyes fluttered to Oikawa's face, and he could plainly see the anger had also drained out of him, and he looked just as tired as Iwaizumi felt.

They always were worse off when they were fighting.

"I'm sorry," he said. It was like tearing a bandaid off, it was harder to push through it all at once, but Iwaizumi preferred it that way. "I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about things you didn't want to talk about, and I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again unless you instigate it. Now could you please stop avoiding me, I miss having my best friend around to bother me all day."

He bit his lip and waited. Oikawa's face continued to be passive, with no infliction or indication of what he was thinking. Just a staunch, reading expression, and Iwaizumi's stomach dropped because if he was looking for something specific, waiting for Iwaizumi to cover something he missed-

Until Oikawa turned his head and puffed out his cheeks and said, "And I'm sorry too, I guess. Sorry that Iwa-chan is so bad at apologies."

He tried not to audibly sigh in relief. Instead, he allowed a devious smirk to play on his face because _they were okay_. "What was that?" he taunted, biting back a smile as he threw himself across the bed to get revenge for the comment. 

Oikawa let out a sudden yelp as Iwaizumi propelled himself over his mattress, one hand grabbing Oikawa's wrist and the other immediately reaching to ruin his hair. The attack was too sudden for him to do anything other than laugh and try to wriggle out of Iwaizumi's grasp, and after a minute, Iwaizumi pulled his hand away from Oikawa's now ruined hairstyle.

They laughed gently at each other, cheeks tinged pink and the stuffiness of the room lifting. It was the first time Iwaizumi had felt at peace since their argument earlier in the week. Oikawa was smiling up at him despite the mess he'd made of the brunet's hair, and Iwaizumi realized that this may be the first time Oikawa's thought so, too.

So he thinks to apologize, one last time, gently thrumming his fingers against the inside of Oikawa's wrist. "I really am sorry," he said, his voice still ringing with warmth. "I hadn't meant to push the argument, you really didn't look like you wanted to talk about it, and I got too defensive. So, yeah."

He'd never been good with apologies. But luckily, he'd always been good with Oikawa.

Pulling himself back up onto the bed, Oikawa made a show to brush dust off of his sweater (there was none). "Only if Iwa-chan understands, then I accept," he said, leaning heavily into Iwaizumi. A sly look darkened his eyes, followed by a fox-like smirk. "Besides, it's not your fault your caveman brain couldn't understand the complexities of my situation."

Iwaizumi felt his head throb in annoyance. "What does that even mean?"

"Nuances, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa replied loftily, poking at Iwaizumi's forehead. "Making assumptions, reading between the lines, critical thinking. Not everything has to be spelled out in black and white."

He wasn't even sure he knew what Oikawa was talking about anymore. "...Anyways, I have to get to class," Iwaizumi said, expertly avoiding the conversation and turning to see if he left his book by his bed. Oikawa gave him a skeptical look, a cocked eyebrow and a twist of the mouth, watching his best friend get up to pull up his covers and riffle around his bed looking for his book.

Those eyes stayed focused on his back, and Iwaizumi could almost feel them, his skin prickling in response under such scrutiny. He skimmed his bookshelf, trying to figure out what Oikawa wanted. An answer? A response? About what, his 'nuances'? Iwaizumi wasn't really sure, and when he came up from his bookshelf empty-handed, he turned to look back at Oikawa.

Who was holding up his textbook, a smug grin on his face.

"What the hell, give that to me!" Iwaizumi felt his face heat up, partly out of humiliation and mostly out of anger as he swiped the tome from Oikawa's hand, ignoring Oikawa's amused laughter. He turned away to hide his reddening face, and besides, he really needed to get to class or else he'd be late. "I'll see you at dinner," he said, his voice a little too harsh, but Oikawa understood.

"I'll save you a spot at the table!" Oikawa replied, the mirth still thick in his voice. "That is, if you're not spending it in detention."

Iwaizumi slammed the door to the dorm room shut behind him.

-

True to his word, Oikawa was seated at the Hufflepuff table in the dining hall, across from Hanamaki, smiling and waving towards Iwaizumi.

"I see you didn't get detention," Oikawa hummed, buttering a piece of toast as Iwaizumi sat down beside him.

"I see you finally showed your ugly face," Iwaizumi replied back automatically, earning a loud sputtering protest from Oikawa and some snickers from Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

After dinner, on their way back to the common rooms to finish up studying and go to bed, Oikawa was walking next to Iwaizumi, his arm immediately reaching out to link with his best friend's. His attention was on Makki, talking about an upcoming Quidditch practice, but his arm stayed tucked against Iwaizumi, keeping them anchored together.

Just from the little contact, from having Oikawa beside him and clinging to him, it was like everything had gone back to normal.

-

Oikawa really believed they could win the Quidditch Cup this year. Not just Oikawa, either. The entire team was amped up for the season, their practices were going a lot longer and they were working harder on new techniques this year. Oikawa was a strong captain, and he did a good job shaping the team up last year. They had been neck and neck with Ravenclaw in the finals, with even Ushijima having a hard time breaking through their defenses.

This year, though, this year, they were going to make it.

They were running through a mock game, the entire team split into two to practice against each other, every position filled except for the Seekers. Oikawa was orchestrating the event from the sidelines, yelling out tactics and strategies to the players. It was mostly for the younger, newer players who had techniques to work on, but even the seasoned players were practicing new maneuvers and fake outs.

The team was in good shape. Watari wasn't a flashy Keeper, but there was no one better at blocking goals. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were a dangerous duo with perfect timing, and created a flawless block against stray bludgers, sending them right back to the opposing Chasers and Beaters with terrifying precision. Yahaba had a good focus when he was out on the pitch, and he was adept at picking out small movements to find the snitch. He was still learning, still improving his speed and timing, but he did a great job of being Seeker. It used to be Oikawa's position, and it had been intimidating to fill in the shoes of someone so perceptive and skilled as Oikawa, but he was proving to be a great replacement.

Iwaizumi had always been and would always be a Chaser, and was undoubtedly the team ace. He scored more points than anyone on the team (with exception to Oikawa and the snitches he'd caught) and was great both offensively and defensively. The team switched between Kunimi, Kindaichi, and Kyoutani for the other Chaser position, and Oikawa.

Oikawa was the captain and the conqueror.

He moved to the Chaser position when he became captain, and even though his role was to score goals, Oikawa used it as a focal point to lead the team. He could rely on his other two Chasers to defend and score if he needed to shoot a tactic to any one of his other teammates. He was also the fastest player on the team, and was lethal when he had the Quaffle in his possession. 

His versatility had always astounded Iwaizumi. Oikawa worked hard to be as good as he was, and in Iwaizumi's mind, Oikawa was the best.

Maybe that was why Iwaizumi was getting frustrated. It was throwing off his game.

Kyoutani was getting better at wrangling the ball from him. Oikawa was cheering the newcomer with praise because, despite his harsh techniques, it took a lot of effort to steal the Quaffle from Iwaizumi, and he'd successfully managed it three times this practice alone.

"Hey Ace, you're getting soft," he could hear Makki yelling from the opposing team, goading him and furthering Iwaizumi's already sour mood.

He let out a sudden laugh when Mattsun nailed Hanamaki with a well aimed bludger to the shoulder. "You'll get him next time, Iwaizumi," he grinned. "Put that wild child in his place."

Despite managing to intercept the Quaffle, Kyoutani couldn't score a point past Watari, who easily managed to hit the ball back to Iwaizumi. There was a tension in his shoulders when he received it, and he was going to show Kyoutani what it took to be the ace of the team. He maneuvered his broom so he could rush to the other side of the field, Kindaichi and Kunimi flanking him to keep the opponent Chasers out of his way. 

Even with the padded protection of the two underclassmen, Kyoutani was on Iwaizumi's tail when he was barely halfway down the field. He was reckless, intimidating Kindaichi by bumping into him roughly, jostling the younger player and making him panic and pull back. His way of playing was messy and wild, but Oikawa trusted Kyoutani's skill on the field. He was their wildcard, his chaotic way of playing too unpredictable to read, and his competitiveness making him unstoppable.

And he was currently trying to take the Quaffle from Iwaizumi again.

He could hear Oikawa from the side, keeping pace with the players and shouting advice to Kyoutani. Even though Kyoutani didn't always listen to the captain, Oikawa had grown to like the kid, and had finally figured out how to use Kyoutani's competitiveness to get through his stubborness.

"Kyou-chan, show everyone what a future ace can do!" Oikawa shouted, and Iwaizumi wondered if that was also meant to ramp up _his_ competitive nature, too.

Before Kyoutani could get in close though, Iwaizumi pulled sharply away from him and dropped, losing altitude and even though it was a common maneuver used to get away from opponents, Kyoutani wasn't expecting it and his hesitance gave Iwaizumi the upper hand to speed away towards the goal.

Kyoutani tried to catch up, but Iwaizumi had a few years worth of experience on him and he pulled up, taking a sharp curve so he can circle around toward the goal posts. Yahaba was staged as the practice Keeper, and even with his sharp eyes, Iwaizumi managed to fake him out and score the Quaffle through the goal post. 

With that, their team erupted into cheers, and even Oikawa was grinning proudly from Iwaizumi's goal.

But even with the score under his belt, even though his team scored more and it was only a practice match to work on their broom techniques and maneuvers, Iwaizumi could feel his stomach drop, and the sticky feeling of loss washed over him. He'd done a good job with that last goal, but he'd still let the ball escape his possession three other times.

He'd done well, but not good enough, his brain chanted, over and over again as he landed.

This is ridiculous, Iwaizumi realized, biting his lip and getting angry at himself. Why did he have to prove himself to his teammates? They already respected him and thought highly of his skills on the pitch. Oikawa was grinning at his win, like he couldn't be more proud of Iwaizumi showing his underclassmen how to avoid a steal. Kyoutani even approached him after the game to give him a quick, bashful thanks and a vow that he won't lose next time. 

He felt like he was showing bad sportsmanship. He bowed back to Kyoutani, and normally he'd reply with a half-teasing, half-serious acceptance of the challenge, but his mind was on autopilot and all he could come up with was a half-hearted "Sure". 

He'd always prided himself in being a good mentor to the underclassmen, taking time to praise them or show them how to better themselves on the field. Especially to someone like Kyoutani, who even Oikawa had a hard time keeping in line. But right now, he couldn't push aside the negativity clouding his mind, and watched Kyoutani saunter off.

Oikawa was looking at him funny, and Iwaizumi caught his eye, and his mood further turned south as he realized.

That's why he was so set on proving himself, he thought, feeling bile rise up in his throat. There was a crawling under his skin, and Iwaizumi turned to go help Kindaichi wrestle the bludgers back into the box.

Because he couldn't be the best. Because he couldn't be as good as Ushijima. Because he didn't feel like he was good enough for Oikawa.

-

Iwaizumi had another nightmare.

He was sprinting through the fields, scared, oh so scared. He pushed his legs as hard as they'd go, his muscles straining and his shoes threatening to slip on the sleek grass. He came to a stop just before a treeline, his entire body throbbing from the adrenaline and the panic settling in, _had he been too late?_

Something moved from behind him and suddenly he was locked in a fight, spells hurling from his wand, his body barely dodging as the reds and greens and blues of powerful, dangerous curses whizzed past him. His arm ached from countering with his own magic, his legs ached from defending himself, his heart ached and he still didn't know _why_.

And the last thing he remembered before waking up was a pair of deep crimson eyes, narrowed in disgust, narrowed in betrayal, narrowed in so much hurt that they cut Iwaizumi to the core, had him choking for breath as he sat up in his bed. His entire body was shaking, his hands trembling as he buried his face in them, trying to calm himself down. His chest was tight with anxiety, his stomach churning and he could feel bile rising in his throat, and there was the strong, unmistakable feeling that _everything was wrong_ echoing through his mind and body. It was the same series of events as always, but this time, it was distinctly different. Everything was tinged a little grayer, the feeling a little bleaker, and the remnants of the panic, the worry, the stress, leftover from the dream had never been so strong before.

There was a rustling in the blankets on the bed beside him, and Iwaizumi startled at the sound. He pulled his hands away from his face, and there, in the darkness beside him, he could make out movement. Oikawa had his back facing Iwaizumi, but he was slowly sitting up in the bed, ready to turn around to look over at what awakened him.

Iwaizumi was still too affected by his nightmare, his mind still panicking. He was afraid, he'd never woken up from this dream _afraid_ , and the thought of Oikawa turning around and seeing the fear etched into his face-

He'd never been scared to open up to Oikawa before. They had always been honest to each other, and Iwaizumi had never purposefully hidden something from Oikawa.

But right now, as he moved to grip at the sheets, as he pushed them off and swung his legs over the side of the bed purposely not face his best friend, he was terrified of letting Oikawa see him like this. It was an irrational thrum, buzzing in his ears, loud enough to drown out the rational part of him that knew Oikawa wouldn't care, that Oikawa could help, that maybe he wouldn't be panicking so bad if he could share his troubles.

"Iwa-chan?"

Oikawa's voice was soft and a bit slurred, still hazy from sleep. He let out a quiet yawn. "Iwa-chan, are you awake?" There was a rustle of fabric coming from the bed.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi grunted out, not trusting him voice fully. It still came out a bit high.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

His voice was stronger now, forcing himself to wake up in case he was needed, in case Iwaizumi _needed him_ , and Iwaizumi cringed. He ground his teeth because yes, of course he did, he did have another nightmare, and he did need Oikawa.

But his body was also screaming that he needed to recuperate, to be alone and that's what he was going to do.

"No," he grunted out, his jaw clenched and it almost hurt to lie to Oikawa like this. He could tell his face was scrunched up, his brows furrowed and the after effects of his nightmare written all over it. He was glad he had the foresight to turn his back to Oikawa. "Gotta piss," he replied, hurrying out of the dorm.

The bathroom was empty, and even though Iwaizumi didn't expect anyone else to be in there, his shoulders still slumped in relief. He moved across the room to clutch at the porcelain sink, the smooth surface cool to his clammy hands. He turned on the water, splashing it up in his face, still waiting for his breath to come back to him, for the festering of panic in his chest to die down.

Whatever his dream was divining, it was getting stronger. Everything in his dream had felt so real, so tangible, and his body still felt everything as if it was a phantom pain.

He stayed in there for a while, letting the cool porcelain of the sink calm his feverish skin and watched the color return to his cheeks in the bathroom mirror. He waited until his stomach settled, and he didn't feel like his nerves were standing on edge, until his goosebumps died down and his mind cleared and the heartbeat in his ears was no longer erratic and deafening. Iwaizumi scooped some water from the faucet, trying to soothe the acidic burning in his mouth. With one last glance in the mirror - he still looked like he'd been through hell, with his hair still wet from sweat and his face a little less colorless than usual - he let out a quiet, calming sigh, turned off the sink, and returned to the dorms.

When he approached his mattress, his heart sank to see Oikawa sitting on the covers, fingers thrumming against the sheets. Of course he was going to be there, and Iwaizumi grimaced to himself because why would he have thought otherwise?

Oikawa was watching him like a hawk from the moment he entered back into the room, until he slumped down onto his bed, sitting so they were facing each other. Oikawa immediately reached out, cupping Iwaizumi's cheek with one hand and pressing his other against Iwaizumi's forehead.

His hands were warm, Iwaizumi thought, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. If he hadn't felt like he'd just gotten the worst sleep of his life, he would have tried to swat his hands away, but Iwaizumi felt too tired, too drained, to fight Oikawa's concern.

When Oikawa spoke, his voice was soft. "Iwa-chan, you feel sick," he asked. The thumb on Iwaizumi's cheek began to brush gently across his skin. "Did you puke?"

"No," he answered. His throat was closing up, Oikawa was so close and warm, and Iwaizumi was too tired and too exhausted to hide how much this was affecting him. He wanted to put up a fight, to prove that he was fine and that he didn't need Oikawa crowding him. He'd already lied to him about it not being a nightmare. Logically, he wanted to be by himself. But Oikawa's thumb was working wonders as it drew back and forth across his cheek, and his eyes were shining too deeply with concern. Iwaizumi had always been weak when it came to Oikawa. His feelings, combined with the exhaustion that was not setting in, was making him pliable. So when Oikawa tugged him so they were laying down, he obediently sunk onto the bed. He didn't protest when Oikawa pulled the blanket over them and drew Iwaizumi in close.

It was warm with Oikawa so close, and the remaining tension in Iwaizumi's body drained from him as he closed his eyes and made himself comfortable. They were both on their sides, facing each other, and as soon as Iwaizumi was settled, Oikawa pressed their foreheads together and cupped Iwaizumi's neck with his hands.

"Feel better in the morning," Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa. His eyes were drooping shut and a small smile hung from his lips, and everything felt close and intimate between them.

It was making Iwaizumi uncomfortable. Like his skin was crawling. His cheeks warmed up and he averted his gaze and pretended that the feeling in his stomach was leftover from the nightmare and not butterflies. "When I have to wake up to your morning breath?" he teased, grasping for something to relieve some of the tension. "We'll see."

Oikawa just laughed, too tired to argue back, and pressed in close until their noses were practically touching. "G'night, Hajime."

Iwaizumi stayed awake until his heartbeat wasn't pittering like rapid-fire in his chest, until Oikawa's own breathing mellowed into long, languid exhales and inhales, until he didn't feel like his emotions were getting the better of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how Quidditch works I keep having to Google it L O L
> 
> The next chapter should be out by the end of August!


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi had dug himself into a hole, and he was starting to realize that he might have made it too deep to crawl back out of.

Iwaizumi had dug himself into a hole, and he was starting to realize that he might have made it too deep to crawl back out of. Every time he looked up and saw how deep he was going, every time he tried to throw his shovel away and tried to escape, it kept returning to his grip, and he kept digging.

In his defense, it was very comfortable being clung to by Oikawa, who was becoming more affectionate and clingy than even Iwaizumi was used to - but with every casual touch or warm hug Oikawa graced him with, Iwaizumi could feel the guilt churning in his stomach a little more.

Because as Oikawa became more tactile, squishing in closer to Iwaizumi's side and making a home for himself there, the more Iwaizumi realized how deep he'd dug himself. He should have known better - Iwaizumi was an honest person, brutally honest to a fault - but he'd been so caught up in his panic after his nightmare, and Iwaizumi lied. He had lied so Oikawa wouldn't pry, lied so he could escape to calm himself down, lied so he wouldn't become a burden to Oikawa. His best friend was absurdly keen, and had also noticed that Iwaizumi's nightmares had been occurring more and more often. Because of this, he'd become more concerned about Iwaizumi, and although Oikawa thought he was a subtle person, Iwaizumi had definitely picked up on it. Now, Oikawa would crowd him to make sure he was okay in the mornings, or shove his way onto Iwaizumi's mattress late at night if he noticed him not sleeping, or even carefully observe from a distance on the Quidditch field. It always made the hairs stand on the back of Iwaizumi's neck, made him reel back or glance away from Oikawa during these times.

Oikawa was dangerous when he was being perceptive. His instincts were honed, and when he was watching or studying he would go from whimsical and relaxed to focused and intense in the blink of an eye.

It was exhausting Iwaizumi to be under that scrutiny. So he had lied. It was a reaction, built on a spur of the moment panic, that had caused Oikawa to relax a bit. He'd dropped his constant vigilance when Iwaizumi had told him "I haven't had the dream for a few months," after he'd taken his third trip to the bathroom in three weeks to recover from the state the nightmares had left him in.

Oikawa had given him a regarding look, eyeing him up and down, and had simply said, "I'm worried about your health, Iwa-chan. Unless," he gasped, "you're sneaking away to meet with a girl!"

He had pushed Oikawa off of his bed.

That was also the last time Oikawa had asked about his nightmares. And, consequently, when he'd decided that Iwaizumi was his overgrown teddy bear, and spent his time glued to Iwaizumi's side.

Unfortunately, Iwaizumi had yet to figure out the root to _that_ problem. He was busy enough with the hole his lie had buried him under.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa muttered, his arms finding purchase around Iwaizumi's waist, bringing him out of his thoughts. He was exhausted and his voice was small and quiet, his words sluggish and heavy with sleep. They were supposed to be finishing their History of Magic essays.

"Get off," he huffed, not actually moving to shake Oikawa off of him. His best friend was a warm weight pressed against his side and shoulder, and, like every other time in the last few weeks, Iwaizumi found it more comfortable than he probably should. So he let Oikawa stay. "You need to finish your homework."

Oikawa hid his face against Iwaizumi's shoulder. "Don't wanna."

Heaving out a sigh, Iwaizumi glanced over at Oikawa's essay. He was on his second piece of parchment, a bit further down the page than Iwaizumi, and their assignment wasn't due for another few days. He was going to tell Oikawa to just get it over with now, but when he opened his mouth, a large yawn escaped him and he could feel Oikawa silently laughing against him.

That jerk, always getting what he wanted. "What's so funny," Iwaizumi challenged, trying to sound angry.

"Your body agrees with me," he said, his voice high with glee. "Let's go to sleep."

"You sound like an old man," Iwaizumi grumbled, actually pushing Oikawa off his shoulder so he could stretch. His muscles were tense from leaning over his work for so long, and he couldn't help but groan from how good it felt to loosen them again.

Oikawa wrinkled his nose at Iwaizumi as he gathered up his homework and his writing supplies. "Maybe you should look in the mirror before you accuse people of sounding old."

Iwaizumi picked up the textbook they were sharing and smacked it into Oikawa's elbow, raising an eyebrow when Oikawa turned to glower at him. But their tiff trailed off there, as Oikawa simply ignored Iwaizumi's challenge and returned to cleaning off the common room table. Iwaizumi followed suit, until the table was clean and they were back in their dorms, textbooks and homework packed away for tomorrow.

Up in their rooms, Iwaizumi caught a glimpse of the time, and was surprised by how late they'd stayed up working on their assignments. No wonder Oikawa had gotten so distracted, it was well past midnight, and most of their housemates were already asleep. And now that he wasn't knee deep in his essay, he was feeling sleep weigh on him as well. 

As Iwaizumi changed into his pajamas, Oikawa collapsed across Iwaizumi's mattress, one eye following his best friend as he got changed. Of course, Iwaizumi noticed, and as soon as he was changed and ready for bed he pushed at Oikawa's limp body. "C'mon 'kawa, go to bed."

"Not even bothering with an adjective, Iwa-chan? You must be tired," Oikawa quipped back, slowly pulling himself up to a sitting position, but still taking up as much bed space as possible. Like a brat, Iwaizumi reflected as he sat down. Oikawa looked tired and ready to immediately settle back down, instead of crossing the three feet it took to lay on his own bed.

"C'mon, _brattykawa_ ," he said, pushing harder at Oikawa. "Go to your own bed."

A glint caught in Oikawa's eye, followed by a smarmy and ridiculous smirk, and Iwaizumi already wanted to hit him before he even opened his mouth. "But Iwa-chan, that bed technically belongs to the school, so it's not mine. Which means that this bed isn't your's, either. And by transitive property, that makes mmph-"

Yep, he didn't want to hear this.

Oikawa pulled the pillow away from his face, a pout having replaced his cheekiness, and Iwaizumi just laughed as Oikawa sputtered at him in annoyance. He pelted Iwaizumi with the pillow back, which threw Iwaizumi off guard trying to catch it before it hit his face. It gave Oikawa just enough of an opening to tackle his best friend back, pinning him to the bed with a huff. Iwaizumi landed on his back with his head thumping against the headboard, and he leveled Oikawa with a glare.

"Don't you give me that look, Hajime," Oikawa chided, sticking his tongue out. He rolled off Iwaizumi and reached down to pull the blankets up around them. "I won that time."

"Doesn't give you a right to my bed." But Iwaizumi readjusted himself, giving Oikawa enough room to settle. He returned the pillow to its original place as Oikawa got the blankets situated.

Oikawa huffed, saying something about a "winner's favor," but it was lost on Iwaizumi as they got comfortable, rearranging themselves the same way they had so many times before. Oikawa nestled in close to Iwaizumi, their bodies curling into each other and their faces almost too close for comfort. Iwaizumi'd complained once, a morning after Oikawa had hogged the pillow, and there were now two pillows on the bed, but Oikawa preferred falling asleep on the same one. A quiet sigh, just the slightest tickle of breath, escaped from Oikawa, and a lazy smile crawled across his face, his eyes closed. "G'night, Iwa-chan."

"Night," he replied. And in the quiet dormitory, soon, Oikawa's breathing evened out, sleeping soundly. 

And as easy as that, Iwaizumi had dug himself a little deeper.

As long as Oikawa wasn't worrying over him, Iwaizumi mused. He could continue to dig, as long as Oikawa was left unaware. As long as he was the only one losing sleep over these nightmares, it was going to be okay. Or at least,

that's what Iwaizumi kept telling himself.

\--

They needed acknowledge this, Iwaizumi mused to himself for what felt like the twentieth time.

It was after a hard Quidditch practice, Oikawa and the coaches both pushing the team to practice harder and harder, to be in tip-top shape for the House Cup that was looming over all of their heads. Iwaizumi had pretended he wasn't as tired as he was, keeping up with every push and pull Oikawa sent him. But now, when he was alone in the locker rooms, he could feel the exhaustion setting in, settling on his shoulders like a dead weight.

"Looks like you've just come from a failed Alchemy class," he heard over his shoulder, just as Matsukawa came into view, a small grin on his face. "Turned your legs into lead, instead of lead into gold."

Iwaizumi didn't even bother hiding his dissatisfaction with Matsukawa's comment. Mattsun just sighed and dropped down onto the bench next to him. "I know, it was a stretch of a joke. But you look like shit. Captain's bound to notice, I saw him eyeing you when you almost missed that bludger."

Iwaizumi groaned and started rubbing at his eyes. His vision had blurred for just a moment, right as a bludger had been hit his way, and instead of careening it towards the opponents, it had barely grazed the end of his beater and he'd almost gotten smashed into the shoulder. The fear from almost being hit had given him enough adrenaline to make it to the end of practice without another incident, but the fact that it had happened at all was not something Iwaizumi was proud of.

And it was definitely something Oikawa had noticed.

"Hey, Iwaizumi," Matsukawa said, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. There was nothing worth noting up there, just the dusty walls and the peeling yellow and black Hufflepuff paint. "I don't really know what's been going on, but if something's affecting you so much it's affecting your play, you should probably talk about it. Get it off your chest, ya know?"

Iwaizumi grunted in response.

He knew he should to talk about it. Fess up to Oikawa that his nightmares were slowly getting worse, and becoming more frequent, and that's why he's been so tired. Tell him that he'd lied, that he didn't want to bother Oikawa, didn't want to concern his best friend with his problems.

Except, he didn't want to concern his best friend with his problems. And what would he say if he did bring it up? " _Hey Oikawa, sorry I've been lying to you, I didn't want you to worry, but my nightmares had been getting worse. I just didn't want you to worry, that's all!_ " That wasn't going to work. At least, not on someone like Oikawa.

"Yeah." He scrubbed at his tired eyes again. "Yeah, I know." But he wouldn't.

A silence fell over the two of them, Iwaizumi finding himself pondering over Matsukawa's words, and Mattsun just sitting there, maybe pondering them himself. The silence didn't last long though, for the door to the locker rooms opened from the pitch, and out of the corner of his eye, Iwaizumi saw Matsukawa turn his head towards the door. He didn't even bother looking up, he knew who was coming in so late after practice.

Matsukawa pulled up from the bench, and as he stepped away, Iwaizumi could hear what sounded like a clap against skin and his quiet murmur of "He's all your's, Cap," before the door swung shut.

A heavy weight dropped onto the bench next to him soon after that, and wordlessly he felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and a mop of sweaty, soft hair pressing against the side of his head. He should've been more grossed out, they were both hot and it was humid in the locker rooms, their skin still uncomfortably feverish from their practice and sticky from perspiration. But the enveloping arms were comfortable around him, a small reprieve to the exhaustion that was settling in. Iwaizumi leaned into Oikawa, letting his weight rest against his closest friend.

"No more late nights before Quidditch practice," was whispered into his ear, his voice heavy with a breathless laugh. Oikawa's lips barely tickled his hair as he spoke, and Iwaizumi tried his best to keep his heart in control while he wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist. It was beating much too fast in his chest, and he was afraid Oikawa was going to feel how fast it was going, how hard it beat for him.

 _I should acknowledge this_ , Iwaizumi mused to himself, but his mouth felt like lead and the words weren't coming out. Matsukawa's " _you should probably talk about it_ " echoed in his mind. It may have been a good time to bring it up, with an already concerned Oikawa pressing so close into him, offering to be his pillar of strength.

Iwaizumi said nothing. He simply melted into Oikawa, and let his heavy eyes fall shut,

and let himself be held.

-

Some days, it wasn't so bad. Some days Iwaizumi would be in his prime, knocking bludgers halfway across the field with accuracy and precision, or casting strong defensive spells in Defense Against the Dark Arts with an ease even Oikawa didn't always possess (but then again, Oikawa had always been better at Charms. They both had their strengths in spellcasting). There were days he laughed heartily at Matsukawa and Hanamaki's teases and pranks, days he and Oikawa would power through extra practice hours after everyone else had left the pitch. Some days, Iwaizumi had the wind at his back, and felt unstoppable.

Other days, Iwaizumi felt like he was living in a cloud, his brain too foggy to power through his essays from lack of sleep. Some days, an anxiety would set into his skin, leaving him unsettled and nervous, swallowing his words and disrupting him in class. Iwaizumi hated those days, and the more frequent his nightmares came to him, the more frequent he'd feel like his entire body was in a flight or fight response. On those days, with anxiety eating his brain alive, he'd zone out. He'd zone out at Oikawa's chittering and gossip, at Quidditch practice when he was coaching the younger players, and even at lunch, when he'd be starting too long at the cranberry juice in the goblet in front of him, the deep red taking him back to the reds that flashed in his nightmare.

That red haunted him more than anything else from his dreams.

He saw it everywhere - woven into the scarves and cloaks and ties of the Gryffindor team, bubbling in the cauldrons when he mixed salamander blood or pomegranate juice into the concoctions, sparking to life from the wands of younger year students practicing their disarming spells. He found himself starting at the color, when he spied it out of the corner of his eye or it suddenly moved into his vision, filling him with the same panic that his nightmares were tinged with. It was the same drowning feeling he got every time those eyes turned on him in his dreams, full of betrayal, full of loathing, and a hurt so deep it woke Iwaizumi up out of breath and shaking.

Except this time he'd be wide awake, walking through the hallways or eating his dinner. He'd have to catch his breath, have to stamp down his irrational fear, and play off Oikawa's concerned glances. Even if he wasn't okay, he was going to make goddamn sure he looked like he was, lest he tip Oikawa off that he'd been lying to him. That he was the farthest thing from okay, and that his nightmares were the root of his problems.

Some days, it wasn't so bad.

Some days, he felt like he'd inhaled a Draught of Living Death.

-

Oikawa hadn't stopped fiddling, Iwaizumi finally noticed. They'd been sitting outside in the courtyard in a half-hearted attempt at studying. Studying outside never worked out as well as studying in the common room, there were too many distractions and people around. But the day had been beautiful, the sun soft and the breeze light, and Iwaizumi couldn't say no to the sweet smile that Oikawa had sent his way when he suggested it.

Instead of studying, they'd taken to chatting lightly with their books and homework scattered around them. The grass had felt nice, so Iwaizumi found himself reclined back, trying to fight off his instinct to sleep in such a nice environment. He felt fine today, but his body was still heavy with a sleep debt that he couldn't seem to shake off lately, and Oikawa's voice was more soothing than it should've been. He really could use a nap.

But beside him, Iwaizumi could hear the fidgeting. Hear the wringing of Oikawa's hands, how he'd continuously move them, through his hair, playing with his quill, rummaging through his papers. It was distracting, filling Iwaizumi with a sense of unease. Oikawa was tactile, yes, and liked to talk with his hands and moved a lot to exaggerate points, but this wasn't his normal gesticulation. This was more of a nervous tick.

Iwaizumi cracked an eye open and peered up at Oikawa, whose voice had been growing quieter and had been trailing off more. He caught his best friend also peering down at him, and Oikawa turned away upon being caught, his cheeks tinged pink.

"What's up?" Iwaizumi asked, moving to prop himself up on his elbows. Oikawa's hand unexpectedly shot out, pressing against Iwaizumi's chest like he didn't want him to get up. His face was now trained on Iwaizumi's, his eyes determined and hard set.

"You were falling asleep," Oikawa said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "I was going to let you nap."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but obeyed Oikawa's silent command and settled back down onto the grass. "We didn't come out here to nap, idiot, we came out here to study." He didn't mention that a nap sounded wonderful right now. Oikawa didn't need to know how tired he actually felt.

Oikawa scoffed at him, and moved to reposition himself. Iwaizumi watched him carefully as he carelessly disposed of the textbook that sat on his lap, as he scooted closer on the grass until he was right behind Iwaizumi's head, peering over Iwaizumi from behind. "Sit up for a sec," he said, and Iwaizumi found himself cautiously following the command. He lifted his head and torso off from the ground, and he could hear Oikawa shuffling around behind him again. Then, there was a gentle tugging on his shoulders, as Oikawa pulled him down so his head was resting comfortably in Oikawa's lap.

Iwaizumi felt his face flush, his cheeks hot under the triumphant smile Oikawa was shooting him. Oikawa tapped him on the cheek, grinning cheekily, and said in a voice that was high with excitement, "There, now you can't refuse my impromptu nap time."

"Impromptu my ass," Iwaizumi grumbled, averting his eyes from Oikawa. He felt one of those long, slender fingers tap against his cheek again, and Iwaizumi reached his arm up to swat the hand framing his face away. Oikawa did a lot of things impromptu, like making Hanamaki break them into the prefect's bathroom for a nice soak after a hard practice. Or dragging Iwaizumi to Hogsmeade to try The Three Broomsticks' new seasonal butterbeer.

This, however, had the distinct feel of a carefully thought out plan.

Oikawa merely pouted at his accusation though, and settled one of his hands in Iwaizumi's hair. "You've been exhausted lately, Iwa-chan," he said, his voice quiet. Iwaizumi finally looked back up at him, and saw that his warm eyes were hooded, staring down at his lap and no long at Iwaizumi. "You haven't been getting as much sleep, and you're getting sloppy during practice and have been barely paying attention in class-" and Iwaizumi opened his mouth to argue, but Oikawa shot him an impatient look and just spoke louder, effectively cutting him off before he could try to deflect his words, "-and I've been worried about you."

 _Oh_ , Iwaizumi thought, as he stared wide-eyed at Oikawa.

He _was_ worried. Of course he was worried, the concern was etched into Oikawa's soft features. He looked pensive, like he was thinking, probably thinking about how worried he was over Iwaizumi, about all the ways Iwaizumi had been affected by his lack of sleep.

Iwaizumi shouldn't have been surprised, but the confession left him feeling jolted. True, he hadn't been hiding his exhaustion very well. He hadn't been hiding it at all, if he was being honest with himself, but the whole idea was to hide his nightmares from keeping Oikawa from being worried about him, and now-

Iwaizumi felt his stomach churning, his exhaustion forgotten as his whole body was suddenly awake with a start. It was as if he'd been sucker punched. Although Oikawa smiled serenely down at him, good intentioned and well meaning, it still left Iwaizumi feeling unwell that he was _still_ worried about him. Everything he'd been lying about, everything he'd been hiding, was to keep Oikawa from worrying about him. But then, in his usual fashion, Oikawa had come along and upended everything.

Oikawa laughed nervously and waved his hands above Iwaizumi. "You don't have to look so sour, Iwa-chan," he said, like it wasn't a big deal. "I'm your best friend, and I know, I know, you always worry about me, but guess what? I'm allowed to worry about you, too." He pouted down at Iwaizumi, and accented his point with a strong poke to the creased brow below him. "So let me know if anything is wrong, okay?"

There was a lump in his throat as Iwaizumi swallowed. _Soon_ , his mind whispered in response. Hopefully soon, his nightmares would stop and let him sleep, stop stressing his mind and body. But for now- "Okay."

Oikawa straightened his shoulders a little. "Good. I've already had to defend your honor from Professor Ukai's wrath with your royal goof-up in Transfiguration this week-" and Iwaizumi groaned as he remembered his wooden goblet exploding into splintering shrapnel from a misspoken spell, sending most the students from his area to the hospital wing, "-as well as come up with excuses to keep the coaches from benching you from our next game. So please, Iwa-chan, for your precious Oikawa-sama's sake, stop driving yourself into the ground."

"...You're a shitty kind of guy, aren't you?"

" _Iwa-chan!_ "

And Iwaizumi felt his chest lighten a little as Oikawa's whined at him, the heavy mood lifted. When he smiled down, his expression no longer felt like it was gutting Iwaizumi, sucking all the air out of his lungs. It was Oikawa's normal, goofy smile that was more often fake than not. Iwaizumi couldn't help but huff out a short laugh, and Oikawa began to run his hands through his short black hair again.

"Now nap, captain's orders," Oikawa commanded, and Iwaizumi obediently let his eyelids flutter shut. The hands in his hair were warm and comforting, and the soft melody of rustling leaves in the courtyard's trees lulled him into a comfortable sleep.

-

The wind was stinging Iwaizumi's face, far too swift and cold for late fall. An icy sleet left his skin aching and red, his body bristling from adrenaline and goosebumps. His eyes stung, he was heavy with water weight and exhaustion, and he moved to regrip his wet broom and bat, trying to keep his hands from slipping down the wood.

It was a miserable day for a Quidditch match, especially against a team like Slytherin. Especially a practice match against Slytherin, whose clever and calculating style was always a menace to play against. The green and silver team had always kept Hufflepuff on their toes, and today neither team could seem to get the upper hand. They were stuck in a stalemate.

Which is why, despite the horrific playing conditions, Iwaizumi found himself hovering a hundred feet in the air in a sleet storm wishing he could be literally anywhere else. They'd been at it for close to an hour, and although he's toughed it out through rough weather before, Iwaizumi was hoping someone, preferably Oikawa, would catch the snitch soon. He was in no condition to be playing in such a cold, heavy rain. Despite not having a nightmare (yet) this week, Iwaizumi had been waking up early for tutoring, or studying, or practice, on top of having a hard time getting to sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a full night of rest.

Iwaizumi moved to rub the water away from his eyes again, struggling to keep his broom steady from the strong winds. His teammates were on the opposite side of the field, as he stayed on guard with Watari at the goals. He could barely make out through the rain and fog that someone from Hufflepuff had the Quaffle. Hanamaki was over there, more than capable of countering Slytherin's beaters on his own. 

He took a moment to survey the pitch for Oikawa. The captain was usually either close to the chasers, shouting out tactics to the team, or high above the match, his eyes scanning the area for the small spec of gold that would end the game. His vision was obscured slightly from the rain and fog but he couldn't make Oikawa out in either place. A blur caught his attention, a murmur of movement somewhere down below him, and he followed the movement, finding Oikawa and Kenma speeding across the pitch, close to the ground. They were right on top of each other, racing above the field with their arms outstretched. There was no doubt both had their eyes on the golden snitch. 

_C'mon_ , Iwaizumi thought, watching hopefully as they zigzagged on their brooms after the near-invisible prize. He could feel the rush of adrenaline, knowing they're so close to ending this loathsome match. He could practically make out Oikawa's tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration, his eyes shooting back and forth between his rival seeker and the snitch. _C'mon_ , he urged, fighting down the excitement, _you're so close-_

A loud _whoosh_ roared past him, and Iwaizumi's focus was snapped back to his surroundings as a bludger nearly collided with his side. He jerked back on reflex, his hand slipping down the slick wooden broom handle, and Iwaizumi only had a moment to try to regain his grip as the ball flew around, keeping a wide berth, and vaulted his way again. 

Iwaizumi managed to jerk his broom out of the bludger's path again, the ball skirting just a centimeter from his shoulder. It was much too quick, and Iwaizumi much too exhausted, for him to have tried to bat it away. But the force of the ball flying past him was too much, causing Iwaizumi's hand to slip again on the wooden broom handle. Inertia from dodging the ball kept his body moving, and now, without a grip on his broom, Iwaizumi felt his body lose all traction.

With no purchase, his upper body carried him over the side of his broom, and his legs ripped from their hold of the broom.

Iwaizumi began to plummet towards the ground.

Fear flooded Iwaizumi, panic clogging his throat as he fell, and the only thing his mind could conjure up in that moment was a momentous, _oh shit_. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that the impact wouldn't kill him, wouldn't hurt-

He suddenly got a flash of Oikawa falling, from the House Cup the year before. Of Oikawa falling and shattering his knee.

Iwaizumi felt his breath get knocked out of him, as he came to a sudden impact. His body had stilled, aching from the sudden lack of movement, but surprisingly,

he was unhurt.

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and found himself floating precariously several feet above the ground. He felt a wobble, though it didn't feel like it was coming from his body, and then whatever was holding him back felt like a bubble popping around him, and he landed on his hands and knees against the wet sand of the Quidditch pitch.

It was all too surreal. Iwaizumi still felt like his stomach was catching up to him, his body heavy with the weight of gravity. He was trying to control his breathing because _he'd just been falling from a hundred feet up five seconds ago_ and his body was still pumping adrenaline, making everything else feel far away and foggy. All he could register was himself, although he could hear the soft echoes of his name being called, somewhere in the distance.

Then, something was touching his shoulder, and the sound of his name didn't sound far away anymore, like cotton had been plucked out of his ears. Everything came flooding back to his senses: the cold splash of rain on his skin, the yells from the other players echoing in his ears, the soft scent of the wet sand, the stinging raindrops clouding his vision. He snapped out of his stupor, trying his best to shut his fear and panic out, and looked up at where the foreign touch was coming from.

The hand around his shoulder was shaking, the knuckles pale with how hard it was clenched in his wet robes. Those slender fingers, which should've been furled around the golden snitch, were digging into his clothes, nails pressing crescents into his skin underneath. Oikawa repeated his name, a warbled "Hajime," that sounded like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. Iwaizumi followed the sound to Oikawa's face, noticing the way he was biting his lip, fighting back whatever emotions were trying to show on his face. But his eyes were wide windows, and Iwaizumi could clearly see everything written across them: fright, anger,

concern.

The depths of Oikawa's light brown eyes were painted with his feelings, and for a second, something flashed in them that had Iwaizumi losing his breath again.

They looked like they were splashed with a deep, vibrant red.

Kuroo pulled up on his broom, casting Iwaizumi's attention away from Oikawa's eyes, and the captain give the two of them a regarding look. Oikawa didn't even bother glancing over at him, but his eyes hardened, closing up the emotions that were playing across them. Never once did he move his gaze from Iwaizumi. "Practice is done for today," he said, and Oikawa's voice was strong, unwavering, the opposite of how he'd looked just a moment ago.

"...Alright," Kuroo sighed. He looked just as waterlogged as everyone else, his bangs plastered to his face, but Iwaizumi knew the Slytherin captain had been enjoying the match. He'd always liked a challenge.

Kuroo turned, finding the rest of the teams coming up behind the two captains and Iwaizumi, and went to go address their suddenly canceled match. Iwaizumi could hear him talking to the two teams, could hear the younger players ask about what happened, but everything was tuned out as Oikawa shot up, pulling a stumbling Iwaizumi up to his feet and leading him away from the field.

He allowed Oikawa to drag him off the pitch to the vacant locker rooms, where, once they were far enough into the building, Oikawa rounded on Iwaizumi, red faced and angry. And not the usual anger Iwaizumi would see from Oikawa, the haughty sneers he sent Ushijima's way after a particularly bad loss, or the pout he'd give his friends after some particularly hurtful jibes. This was a raw, messy anger that left his teeth clenched, his cheeks lit, and his fingers curled against the front of Iwaizumi's robes. "What the hell was that, Hajime?!"

Iwaizumi flinched at Oikawa's words. He was used to Oikawa being rude. He was used to snarky remarks and haughty anger. Used to scoffs in annoyance and, at his most extreme, icy sneers thrown in a way he'd seen only reserved for people Oikawa hated, like genius keepers or Ushijima Wakatoshi.. Never once had he seen Oikawa in such a loud rage. This wasn't the quiet, venomous remarks he was used too, his words sneered behind a cold exterior. This was volatile, an explosive anger Iwaizumi wasn't sure Oikawa had in him. It was not a tone he'd ever expect to have hurled his way.

He raised his hands to defend himself, because Iwaizumi wanted to set things straight, maybe even to reign Oikawa in, but before he could, he was cut off. "No, I don't want to hear it, ," Oikawa seethed, running a hand erratically through his wet hair. "You don't get to pull a stunt like that and then expect me to accept an explanation from you. From _you_ , of all people, Hajime! Whatever happened to not pushing yourself, you asshole!" Oikawa was now in his face, his hands fisting into his cloak. "You can't yell at me for an entire summer about overworking myself! You can't yell at me about injuries, about being careless, and then go and- go and- pull something like this!" He shoved roughly against Iwaizumi, and as Iwaizumi's gaze was drawn down to the hands against his chest, he noticed that they were shaking. "Something is _wrong_ , Iwa-chan, and why won't you- why won't you tell me-"

And a hot tear rolled down Oikawa's cheek as he choked back a sob, and Iwaizumi stood there, stunned. Tears started falling from Oikawa's now overwhelmed eyes, snot leaking down his nose and his face still scrunched up in anger and now anguish as he punctuated his anger by pounding his fist against Iwaizumi's chest. He hiccuped, a messy half-sob that broke Iwaizumi's heart, before pulling back. The sudden absence of Oikawa left Iwaizumi chasing him, trying to reach out and catch his wrist, catch his cloak, catch something.

But Oikawa tore himself away, his eyes wet and tears still streaming, but his face hard with anger. Iwaizumi froze, an iciness spreading through his system, as he was met with a pair of deep, unfamiliar eyes. Instead of Oikawa's oaken brown, they were stained almost a mahogany red. He couldn't move, completely stunned beneath the glare Oikawa was leveling him with, could hardly breathe.

He was only able to watch as Oikawa turned away, merely grabbing his bag before storming out of the locker room, leaving Iwaizumi with a wrenching gut and an uneasy heart.

-

Iwaizumi looked over at the bed next to him, where Oikawa lay. He was turned away, his back covered with his blankets, and whether that was intentional or subconscious, Iwaizumi wasn't sure. What he was sure of, though, was the sigh that left him, mostly out of annoyance but there was a fondness as well, as he stared at Oikawa's back.

He'd already made up his mind during dinner, there was no backing out now.

Shoving away his blankets, Iwaizumi slid off his bed and padded quietly over to Oikawa's. He pressed his knee into the mattress, and the sudden indent had Oikawa turning over, sleepily eyeing his best friend with narrowed brown eyes. But Iwaizumi wasn't going to let Oikawa's stare stop him, if anything, the normal tint lightened his chest just the tiniest bit, and he pressed lightly against Oikawa's side until he scooted over, leaving enough room for them both to lay down.

A part of him was scared on how Oikawa would react, especially after their argument earlier. Even though this wasn't something new, they'd shared the same bed countless times during the school year,

this was Iwaizumi's first time instigating it.

Oikawa stayed watchful, his face neutral as Iwaizumi situated himself under the shared covers. He carefully performed all the duties Oikawa usually initiated: sliding his foot between Oikawa's so their legs could tangle under the sheets, laying down next to Oikawa (and hoping that his best friend couldn't feel or hear how fast his heart was pounding in his chest), placing an unsure hand on Oikawa's hip.

He met Oikawa's gaze, and any words he could've prepared suddenly left him. Despite the proximity, Oikawa's expression had moved from indifference to something more closed off, like he didn't want Iwaizumi to see. Words he'd prepared beforehand died on his tongue. Iwaizumi suddenly didn't know if he should apologize, or thank Oikawa, and his voice caught in his throat. "Um," he started, his eyes never moving from Oikawa's face, before taking a big breath.

This was just Oikawa, after all, he had to remind himself.

He leaned forward, butting his forehead against Oikawa's.

A look of surprise colored Oikawa's face, and he opened his mouth to complain about the sudden headbutt, a shrewd " _Iwa-chan_ ," leaving him. A weight felt like it had lifted off Iwaizumi's chest as Oikawa pouted at him, his eyes narrowing in annoyance as he rubbed at his forehead. A pout wasn't a positive sign, no, but it was _something_. And at this moment, Iwaizumi grasped onto that like a lifeline.

Something must've been showing on his face, because a quiet sigh was the only warning he got before Oikawa all but closed the space between the two of them, pushing his way against Iwaizumi, his arms curling around his best friend and his hair suddenly splayed under his nose. "You're an idiot," Oikawa sighed, his breath puffing against Iwaizumi's neck, and his voice still held a bitter bite to it. "Stupid Iwa-chan. I'm still mad." He had every right to be. "You scared me, Iwa-chan. Like, really, really," and his arms tightened around Iwaizumi, squeezing him hard, his face still hiding under Iwaizumi's chin, " _really_ scared me."

"I know," Iwaizumi replied. It felt weak in his choked up throat, like an off brand reassurance that left a bad taste in his mouth. Oikawa deserved better, but Iwaizumi didn't know what to say to give him better. He still wrapped his arms around Oikawa and held him close. "I know-" and he let out a shaky laugh, "exactly how you felt." It was the same as last year, at the House Cup Finals, when he watched Oikawa plummet from his broom. The immediate fear gripping his system as he remembered watching Oikawa hit the ground last year still left a lingering, sour taste in the back of his throat.

"If Kozume-chan hadn't had his wand, if we hadn't noticed or he hadn't cast it in time-"

"But he did," Iwaizumi whispered, drawing his hand across Oikawa's back in broad circles. He'd have to thank the Slytherin keeper sometime in the next few days. "He did, and because of that, I'm okay."

"I watched you fall, Hajime, the same as I did last year," he choked. His grip only got tighter.

Iwaizumi wasn't sure if he was done, but Oikawa didn't say anything again. He didn't mention anything else, nor did he relinquish his hold on Iwaizumi. And before either of them knew it, the two succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh this chapter took so long to write. For anyone following this fic as it updates, thank you for being patient! 
> 
> See everyone for chapter 4!


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